You dey Mad ?! Part 2
YOU DEY MAD
Mayowa Ojo
6/10/20264 min read
Larry had been winging his faith for the longest time. He was completely fine with having highs and lows until 5 months ago when he was arrested by an inexplicable unrest. At the time, he would occasionally find that his heart rate suddenly increased suddenly and it alarmed him, thinking it was a panic attack. He would do audits of his life and conclude that, although his life wasn't perfect, it wasn't troubled either so nothing made sense.
He later found that only when he prayed or engaged some worship music would his heartbeat return to normal.
After this came a season where the back of his eyes would suddenly sting like he was about to cry. The closest sensation he could relate it to, was the stinging behind the eyes between nausea and a barf!
After two months of trial and error, talking to mentors and his best friend, he figured it was a call to solitude with God.
He only just resumed at a new job and was not due for a leave yet. He could work from home, what with him being a tech-bro and all, but he knew he needed some time alone without work. When a public holiday merged with a weekend gave him 4 straight days off work, he jumped at it and stayed indoors doing nothing more than seeking God's face.
He'd never done anything like that before and often admired those who did and came out with results. Everything was new, different and everything in between.
One of his takeaways from that meeting was, "…You've been given a mantle and you're sleeping on it. Your anger has been your biggest undoing but if you'll let my Spirit help you, you'll do so much more than you've ever imagine. More authority has been conferred on you than you know in this moment but stay close to me and you'll learn more with time…"
Never had he heard so clearly but it was evident that it was not a figment of his imagination.
Anger had always been his Achilles heel. On the surface he was a great guy but he knew that once certain things didn't go his way, he was likely to flip. He allowed himself to a generous serving of grace because he knew he'd come a long way from where he used to be. However, hearing those words in the place of prayer made him wonder what he may have been depriving himself of, no thanks to his anger.
Kneeling there in front of the real police men while the fake ones blabbered through inconsistent statements, he wondered where he went wrong. He'd been so cool the last month, grateful that he was getting the hang of his temper until this.
But what does this have to do with the lady going mad? He wondered.
The latter part of his instructions hit him. He'd been given authority and he didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know that authority and anger were a bad combo.
He started sweating on the spot wondering why there wasn't a handbook for this situation.
"Ehen, oga, wetin you say happen?" One of the three real policemen asked him.
He snapped out of his thoughts just as he considered praying for instructions or a glimpse into a supernatural handbook he was certain existed somewhere.
"I, em…"
"I go slap this one oh, abi you no know say na criminal offense to dey do jazz?"
Larry looked up to give him a dirty, questioning look when he heard the other men yell.
"Eh! Eh!! Stop!!!" They all shouted at Tasha who was done dancing with the pole and was about to start taking off her clothes.
No matter how much they shouted she wouldn't listen.
"I say stop!" The most senior of the real policemen shouted and she stopped for a second, winked at him, laughed and took off her blouse revealing a tank top. The men were about to heave a sigh of relief when she suddenly yanked down her skirt, revealing a black pair of cycler shorts.
The fake policemen were frantic.
"Officer, she no be like this on a normal day. Na this man," the fattest of the three fake policemen said pointing to Larry. "Na this man use that red cloth flog the babe wey make am begin craze like this.”
"See wetin you don do my babe," the skinniest of the 3 fake policemen said, with so much hate in his eyes, he looked like he could have hurt Larry.
Larry closed his eyes, trying his best to steady his rising heartbeat and wondering how many more accusations he had to put up with.
Tasha grabbed the band of her tights and teased the men as though she would take them off.
When he opened his eyes, he took one short look at Tasha wondering if the anger he felt was righteous indignation or frustration.
"Stop this nonsense NOW and put on your clothes this minute," he yelled.
Tasha stopped. She had a frown on her face and cocked her head to one side as though she was questioning his authority.
All the policemen looked from Larry on his knees to Tasha by the pole for a few seconds that felt like an hour!
Tasha straightened her head, smiled as though she wanted to laugh.
Larry narrowed his eyes, unwilling to utter one more word in addition to his initial instruction.
Tasha saw the look and engaged him in a staring contest for a few seconds before she reluctantly bent down to pick up her skirt.
All 7 policemen gasped.
Larry watched on, pleased but his poker face game was so on point he could have frightened an inanimate object!
Authority abi? He thought. Oya na.